Tired Of Wandering

26 03 2008

path.jpgToday my quiet time has taken me to Numbers 32.  In this chapter the tribes of Reuben, Gad, and half of the tribe of Manasseh ask Moses to allow them to settle their families where they are at.  I’m sure they are just ready to get settled.  I’m sure they are tired of wandering around in the wilderness.  I must admit that there are times that I’m just like that.  This past week I’ve been struggling some what with what God wants me to do.  My job which I have loved dearly is coming to an end this Friday.  This job has given me the opportunity to work closely with a true friend but more than anything it has given me a steady income for my family.  My wife and I have felt the uneasiness that comes from your life not being as settled as you would like it to.  It has been a stern reminder to us that we are still but wanderers on this earth.  We are not home yet.

One of the items that I’ve been praying about is stepping out and trying to do real estate on my own.  I won’t be on my own in that I’m starting up my own company but I will be responsible for my own sales and my money will come solely from my commissions.  That scares me because the market has been slumping for some time.  That is the primary reason my current position is coming to an end.  But through prayer and through my quiet time God has been telling me time and time again to trust Him.  You see right now I get to spend some extra time in the Word because of my flexible schedule.  I’m able to prepare my Sunday School lessons and grow deeper in the Word.  I guess I could settle by going out and getting me another job that will provide a steady flow of money to my family.  If I were to do that then my time studying and doing ministry would be constricted.  I also would probably not be able to go to India this summer to do some teaching that up to this point in my life I truly believed that the Lord wanted me to do.  So here is the question.  Do I step out on faith or do I settle with something else?

I’m tired of wandering I must admit.  I want security.  I want to see it.  I want to know that it is there.  These two and a half tribes never experienced the Lord’s best for them because they settled.  Because they settled they were one of the first tribes to fall into idolatry.  They were also one of the first tribes severely judged by the Lord for their sinfulness.  They settled and it cost them in the long run.

So I ask you for prayer.  Pray that I would not settle for something less than God’s best for me.  Because though it may provide temporary comfort it is not what God intended and I want Him to be pleased with me.



19 03 2008

shoes.jpgThis past weekend I had something happen to a friend and to me that I confess made me very discouraged.  It was one those times that made me just look at the Heavens and just cry out, “WHY!!!!”  One weekend changed my future.  It made me reevaluate where I’m going and what I’m doing with my life right now.  I’ve gotten my share of people telling me they are praying for me and that God is sovereign and that I need to look to him.  I appreciate those emails and those prayers.  I really do but they were not seeming to do me any good till I got alone with the Word last night.  I had to catch up on my daily Bible readings and the first thing that I read was Numbers 14.  The spies have just came back and gave their reports.  You know the drill. 10 said no and 2 said yes.  In chapter 14 the stories picks up with the children of Israel griping and complaining telling God it would have been better to have stayed in Egypt.  That always just blows my mind.  Did they forget that Egypt was bondage and persecution.   They didn’t have it made in Egypt.

Over the weekend though I’ve had some of the same thoughts.  Lord, why did you bring me to Tennessee and then do this I asked.  Wouldn’t I had been better off in Mississippi?  At least I have a family to support me down there.  When I read this chapter I was convicted deeply because I was guilty of belly aching.  It was after that when I was encouraged the most.  Moses prayed for the people and his whole prayer was based on the steadfast love of God.  That is God’s covenant love for his children.  His special love.  God loves me just that much and I’m able to come to the throne of God and request help and assistance because of that love.  Because of that love I know that God hears me and cares about what is going on in my life because He is steering my life.  He also tells God that it would be wrong to annihilate the children of Israel because all the other nations would see and question the Godness of God.  God’s name is at stake.  This morning I pleaded with the Lord for my friend and my family because I believe the name of the Lord is at stake here.  We have tried to do what is right and have sacrificed to do that at times.  My friend has stepped out on faith believing that he was doing exactly what God was telling him to do.  The name of the Lord is at stake here and when I prayed I reminded God of that, but He already knew that.  I think He just wanted me to pray that.  His name is way bigger than mine or my friends.

About the time I was getting all of this my wife came in and hit me with this.  She has been reading Joni Eareckson Tada’s book When God Weepsand in this book she talks about suffering and says this:  “Once heaven has our attention, a fervid anticipation for God’s ultimate reality–appearing with him in glory–begins to glow, making everything earthly pale in comparison.  Earth’s pains keeps rushing our hopes, reminding us this world can never satisfy; only heaven can.  And every time we begin to nestle too comfortable on this planet, God cracks open the locks of the dam to allow an ice-cold splash of suffering to wake us from our spiritual slumber.  Suffering keeps swelling our feet so that earth’s shoes won’t fit.”

My Little BUT Growing Fast Girl

11 03 2008

dsc00933.jpgOh, she is growing faster than her mom and I want to believe.  Sometimes she makes us want to pull out our hair and if you have seen me lately then you will know that I don’t have much left.  She is not the only reason I’m losing my hair.  There are others which or who will remain nameless.  Today my girl made me cry.  She sent me an ecard.  I want to share it with you. 

http://cards.123greetings.com/cgi-bin/cards/showcard.pl?cardnum=7ZQA80308174418293&log=webicurean  I hope to spend the rest of my howl life with you too baby girl.

Let it Snow

10 03 2008


Just wanted to share a few pics of our snow.

Buffer Zone

6 03 2008

UN Buffer ZoneWell I started reading the book of numbers and guess what they are doing.  They are counting.  People get upset these days when a church counts numbers but it is evident that Moses is doing this.  Sometimes it is good to know how many soldiers that you have.  At others times in the Scripture it was a sign of not living by faith to count as when David counted his armies.  I’ve never had a problem with churches counting because each number is a soul that we are trying to impact for Christ.   But that is NOT what this blog is about.

What caught my eye was the fact that the Levites were told to pitch their tents around the tabernacle.  Well that makes sense.  Not far to go to work.  No need to carpool.  The kicker verse to me is verse 53 which says, “But the Levites shall camp around the tabernacle of testimony, so that there may be no wrath on the congregation of the people of Israel.”

This just makes me want to go…Hmmmmm.  I’m reminded of the fact that we are priests in the new covenant.  And just like these priest we are to be about the business of God.  Our lives are sacred.  We too are buffers in this world that we live in.  We are called to be salt and light.  One of the purposes of salt is preservation.  I believe God shows a lot of grace in this world because of the fact that his people are there.  Well, that is just what I was thinking about this morning.  I just wanted to share it with you.