Tired Of Wandering

Today my quiet time has taken me to Numbers 32.  In this chapter the tribes of Reuben, Gad, and half of the tribe of Manasseh ask Moses to allow them to settle their families where they are at.  I’m sure they are just ready to get settled.  I’m sure they are tired of wandering around in the wilderness.  I must admit that there are times that I’m just like that.  This past week I’ve been struggling some what with what God wants me to do.  My job which I have loved dearly is coming to an end this Friday.  This job has given me the opportunity to work closely with a true friend but more than anything it has given me a steady income for my family.  My wife and I have felt the uneasiness that comes from your life not being as settled as you would like it to.  It has been a stern reminder to us that we are still but wanderers on this earth.  We are not home yet.

One of the items that I’ve been praying about is stepping out and trying to do real estate on my own.  I won’t be on my own in that I’m starting up my own company but I will be responsible for my own sales and my money will come solely from my commissions.  That scares me because the market has been slumping for some time.  That is the primary reason my current position is coming to an end.  But through prayer and through my quiet time God has been telling me time and time again to trust Him.  You see right now I get to spend some extra time in the Word because of my flexible schedule.  I’m able to prepare my Sunday School lessons and grow deeper in the Word.  I guess I could settle by going out and getting me another job that will provide a steady flow of money to my family.  If I were to do that then my time studying and doing ministry would be constricted.  I also would probably not be able to go to India this summer to do some teaching that up to this point in my life I truly believed that the Lord wanted me to do.  So here is the question.  Do I step out on faith or do I settle with something else?

I’m tired of wandering I must admit.  I want security.  I want to see it.  I want to know that it is there.  These two and a half tribes never experienced the Lord’s best for them because they settled.  Because they settled they were one of the first tribes to fall into idolatry.  They were also one of the first tribes severely judged by the Lord for their sinfulness.  They settled and it cost them in the long run.

So I ask you for prayer.  Pray that I would not settle for something less than God’s best for me.  Because though it may provide temporary comfort it is not what God intended and I want Him to be pleased with me.